Category Archives: questions

No Way. I say no way, is any of this real.

Think about it: we live in a reality where if you slice your skin, bright red liquid comes pouring out of your body. BUT. As long as you patch it up, the liquid miraculously stops and over time your skin grows itself back together and eventually, it’s as if your skin was never sliced to begin with.

We have always accepted this as reality but if you stop and really think about it, and I mean really think about it it sounds like something out of a low budget sci-fi film.

And it’s not just the skin thing, there’s more. Like, the DNA thing. You mean to tell me that we have some unique make up inside us that scientists can detect by putting a cotton swab in our mouths? Or by stealing a can of soda we threw in the trash… and rubbing a cotton swab on THAT? Or even by taking a little dribble of a man’s ejaculation… (which is a whole OTHER thing that seems too weird to be real – guys shoot stuff out of their penises? AND THAT’S  THE STUFF THAT MAKES ANOTHER HUMAN? No way. There’s just no way, that’s too ridiculous). So with a little of our spit, cops can read our DNA and tell us if we murdered the person found dead in the barn last week. Yeah, that sounds logical.

I mean, COME ON, guys. We have to just be being naive, right?

Let me stop what you’re thinking right now: I am completely sober. There is just too much we blindly accept as reality.

If you feel no need to question that you’re reading this while you have a basic skeleton shape underneath your surface, then how can you question anything at all? Sure, your skeleton needs milk to stay strong, that’s not random or anything. But no worries, if any part of it does break all you have to do is hold that part of your skeleton in one place for a few weeks and it will just mend itself, no big deal.

How have any of us non scientists never asked to see proof of anything? So many things. Actually, everything. Literally everything.

I’m going to stop letting my brain tell my fingers where to type these letters. And instead I’m going to click “post” and then this stuff will go onto the internet – a magical place where things live only in zeros and ones yet our eyes get to see the final product: this fucking post.

I’m not making sense. Or maybe I am, it’s just that there’s a chip inside your brain blocking you from comprehension. Sounds asinine, I know. But if this is something you were told from the beginning of your life it would make total sense. THAT’S MY POINT. Who knows, maybe THEY put the chip inside your brain! Because if you were to understand this post, the whole world would turn upside down.) You know, the world? That ROUND thing we live on… Not that you’re going to question that or anything.)

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Where is the perfect city?

New York is too stressful.

LA is too fake.

Austin is too small.

Miami is too hot.

Seattle is too rainy.

Amsterdam is too far.

London is too expensive.

Boulder is too college-y.

San Francisco is too cold.

And so on, and so on, and so on…

…..

I want to live in the best city there is. So if you have any suggestions, by all means speak the truth to me.